Metra     https://issuu.com/julz1962/docs/metra_apr23_v2_issuu_lr

Aries: That old guy that’s sitting at the bar, he might be that sugar daddy to make all your dreams cum true. You finding new booty calls in the strangest places. Just try to fuck unfamiliar faces. It is going to be in full rage like Whoopi vs Roseanne except the View is extremely entertaining when it gets heated up.

Taurus: What that Netflix and Chill ghosted you? Pay no attention to that if you’re wanting to explore water sports try at least in the shower first. This way you’re in the shower and less complaints. Better to had been pissed on then pissed off.

Gemini: This month use the power of beauty for your ultimate desires.  You could be doing more if you planned a head cuz it’s always fun if it is deepthroated, or a 69. Either way try to be milked.  Real moans are more erotic than emotions.

Cancer: You’re getting it from all angles & every potential hole can be filled.  Do the Snap back to obtain opportunities that lie within your limits. If you can create new boundaries than your ahead of the game.

Leo: Watch all Sexting to a DUFF, DILF or even family or it can cum fart back on you in a bad way. It’s just watch all your texts! You don’t want to send dick pix to grandma again. Besides she knows about your Only Fans. You don’t want to be the butt of the joke on April Fool’s Day.

Virgo: The full moon will be seducing hairy men like wolves! Find where you feel complete and hit the streets then the sheets.  You’re going to find hook ups outside in nature now, try to be in your birthday suit more to find that DILF..  Maybe a bathhouse?  Maybe Growlr?

Libra: Do not settle for anything basic, look for girth, stamina, eye color, if he has tats to look at while your fucking him, it’s a plus…  I met a guy once that had the Ouija board tatted on his back, nuffin’ like summoning spirits while doing the dirty deed. Multitask some things around. It gives you more playtime with the regulars.

Scorpio: Wow! Everyone queen must have sand in their mangina. Nobody wants to hear your advice, but it could get out of hand if you don’t show respect of other opinions around you.  They must have got Butt hurt by something. Lucky! I mean don’t threaten me with a good time.

Sagittarius: If you’re into the Easter Season and you’re looking for a basket, maybe a couple eggs? They will turn up if you’re paying attention to things around you. You could miss out on some serious dick and then you be the dick. Maybe it’s time to be more versatile then a bottom.

Capricorn: No frivolous financial fuck ups! I bet you thought the 3 F’s were find him, fuck him and forget him, but your swag will have him cumming back to you if you’re playing your cards right. Excuses are like assholes, everyone has one.

Aquarius: You got anything better to do in 20 mins and Grindr is one click away. If you go premium, it’s only a few bucks. It will better your chances with some hot guys! The same in life. You got to sometimes pay the little extras to get those perks & friends with benefits.

Pisces: You need to give yourself a peptalk about how helpful, how hung, dependable, you are at work this month.  This will be better than Skin-a-max, Pay per view or even Twitter! Good deeds turn into the dirty deeds done dirt cheap.

April 2023 Planetary influences for the Zodiac  & Horoscopes

Starting this month, we have April Fool’s Day at 4:30 am EST. and its one of the World Devastation Days. The 14^th at 10:06 pm EST. the second one will be in motion.   The third is the 28^th 3:26pm EST.  These are all a little different but still will be effecting us all as a whole in some way.  The aspects do not match the Ohio derail situation however they do have just as bad results.

Mercury enters Taurus on the 3rd

Full Moon on the 6^th

Venus enters Gemini on the 11^th

20^th The Sun & Moon in Taurus, Solar Eclipse in Aries

Mercury Retrograde on the 21^st  to May 14^th

Aries: The 17^th through to the 21^st is your highlighted days of this month. You’re Having a lot of miscommunications going on but try to work on that. That full moon is in your house of the heart!  It will be most challenging for you. You make up or it on that New moon.

Taurus: Despite the Retrograde starting on your moon, You seem to still have some stored energy if you look for it. The relationship energy will be changing to a normal soon. The 28^th might make you go bonkers. Keep it calm and reflective.

Gemini: Your feeling like your world is tearing apart or you want some better turn out. Mercury in Taurus is on the 3^rd brings  you so much mental clutter.  Then on the 11^th Venus hits you. Then the Retrograde hits you. This is in station 2. Your heart, mind and body might all 3 hurt. Hell even your Brown eye… lol just kidding your third eye is being pain in your ass.

Cancer: The world might have you wondering what  and where do I fit this whole month.  Even near the end of the month when we have our world devastation days…   here is all of them for the month just so you can have a heads up. 1^st  @ 4:30am, the 14^th @ 10:08pm and the 28^th @ 3:26pm. You might have to slow down just so you can watch others go fast. But you might be there at the finish line before them still.

Leo: Rewarding Days are Sandbagging you this month. Do all you can in the first and last week of this month. The middle is going to fly through most likely. Keep things real as best as you can. Neptune and Uranus with anything Aquarius is nothing to be curious. But Pluto just did its major shift and you seem to be still having residue.

Virgo: Your secret self is not showing or budging at all. You are having to remain clam and reflective for the time. Even tho in the back of your head you got so much going on. Tick Tock on the clock. Know that men have this worse than the ladies. Not saying the ladies are not having issues themselves. Mixed up energy and signals even in the bedroom could make things awkward.

Libra:  You have the full moon energy for sure and pretty much that whole week has a lot of aspects that will make you feeling that your plate is full.  If you be lazy and do nothing you will get nothing.  It is all about things that you do and the ripple effect.

Scorpio: The full moon passes in your moon sign. You have the ability in a short window to make the best situations happen with extra attention. You must be charming and resourceful. This is the best time to be relaxed and doing things that you want, and possible family events would be in your favor if you go with the flow.

Sagittarius: You have your moon with a side of Venus in Gemini. This is also retrograde season this month. Most will have good flights but I would not fly on the World Devastation Days this month. Just Hitch a ride with a Cancer. You won’t be board I Promise. The energy will sort of lay out itself.

Capricorn: Venus is sort of giving you the moons good side and bad at the same time. Total Stalemate. Things could go so much better for most of the Cappies in so many ways but here we go again with the same shit show. You have to spice up your own life. Nobody will do it for you.

Aquarius: The 14^th is a World Devastation Day. .. hey I don’t pick them. Every fuckn time anything squares Uranus I sware to god all hells brakes loose. Now your moon is in the middle of it all. What you got to bring to the table. Stack your shit in a pile or keep it all together if you can. This energy shift your about to get mid month is guna be epic.

Pisces: If your depressed this month for any nostalgic reason, try to go down memory lane with who you need to play out the memories. If your not able to  well then start making that new normal. The stars are making you conform or make choices that are so hard to do if you make them that way. Keep it simple. Make sure your safe on the 28^th, I be watching the news to see what this moon squares Uranus is all about…. Lol